I love going to the dollar store. I mean the real dollar store, where everything is exactly one dollar. It blows my mind how many items can be bought for just one dollar. Of course, it might be crap, like the one dollar wire cutters I bought. They were so cute and shiny, I couldn’t resist. But when I tried to cut some framing wire, all they cut was air. I cut a fart as I marveled over how pretty those good-for-nothing-cheap-as-hell wire cutters looked on top of the coffee grinds in the trash. I should know better…than to eat beans for breakfast.
I mainly go for the one dollar Twizzlers at the dollar store. I’m a Twizzler junky driving down the road. The one dollar size fits perfectly in the glove compartment and is good for two chomp sessions. No time to go stale. Inevitably, while I’m getting my Twizzlers, I always end up with something else. Cane’t be helped…as we say in TrAshe county. There is always something I cane’t live without. Like the other day….I knew my life would be incomplete if I didn’t have one of these….
It’s a GROWTH CREATURE!
Did you see this??? 600%! Holy Crocodiles!!!
I was sooooo excited!
I put the growth creature in the tub and ran plenty of lukewarm water.
OMG…what if it got HUGE overnight??? I left the bathroom door open. Just in case. I put an 18″ ruler down too, but feared I needed at least a yardstick….
Now right about this same time, Recluse Man was wrapping up a very cool project at work. Recluse Man oversees the facilities at a small resort hotel in a quaint town nearby. Every year they set up a booth at another resort in town, for a gala evening with the Charlotte Symphony. Each year a theme is chosen for the booths, and this year’s theme was Hollywood movies. Recluse Man was asked to recreate the entry to Jurassic World for his hotel’s movie theme.
This is just the kind of project Recluse Man loves. He’s an engineer and a builder at heart. He’s either built, and/or designed, over one hundred houses. I can testify to his simple yet elegant style. Not that Jurassic World would be either.
I kept hearing about Recluse Man’s Jurassic World. He put in well over 30 hours making the famous entrance. The day of the symphony, I went over to see how things were going. Wow! The styrofoam replica looked great as Recluse Man put the finishing touches on it.
Then Double Wow when it went up!Good Job Recluse Man!
One of the guys Recluse Man works with found a source for some ‘real’ dinosaurs from the actual movie set. Turns out the owner of a local gem mine purchased several dinosaurs from the Jurassic World set for many thousands of dollars and was willing to loan them with the agreement he would keep the entry Recluse Man built.
Here comes one now…
.Forgit Recluse Man!!! I gotta check out the dinosaurs…How cool is this!They brought two dinosaurs over….
Whoops…wrong photo! This was the second dinosaur they used on the buffet table…Of course I had to mess with it…I like ’em scary…From my onOne filter stash….The first dinosaur was placed beside the ‘electric fence’ Recluse Man made…
We heard the fence was the biggest hit that night, with lots of kids and families posing beside it. At one point, a set builder from California stopped by and told Recluse Man he did an awesome job. I mean really awesome. Not that diluted ‘awesome’ everybody tosses around too freely these days.
I didn’t stick around for the gala. On the way home, with a brain full of dinosaur images, I found my car screeching as it turned into the gem mine. EERRRRRR…monster-me-out!! Here were the big guns…
Do dinosaurs eat bubbles?
I like his nails…I betcha he gives a good back scratch…Gotta be the owner’s car…
I was anxious to get home to my very own monster-in-the-tub. I had been refilling the tub with hot water and soaking my monster for days. I was still ‘seeing dinosaurs’ after the gem mine. It’s a very powerful thing to see dinosaurs in your head. It changes the world as we know it.
For example…I decided to drive home via my favorite mountain pass. Right over the crest, I can see ‘my mountain’ beyond this incredible old tree I have photographed many times. It’s a gorgeous view. I’ve watched and photographed as the years have taken a toll on this extraordinary tree…
But suddenly it became …A DINOSAUR FROM OUTER SPACE!
You had to be there.
My personal monster was an enigma. The package said he would grow 600% in several days and to be sure there was plenty of room for growth. HA HA…very funny!
This is what I came home to…
I reckoned I had a teenage Crocosaur on my hands, who was not yet ready to mature…Freekin dollar store.
I went out to my car and raided my Twizzler stash. I like to gnaw on Twizzlers when I’m driving….and when I’m frustrated. And was I ever frustrated. I decided I had given the Crocosaur plenty of time. Clearly he was never going to be more than a mini-croc. I must have been half-crocked to believe otherwise. I named him Croco’shihtt.
You are probably saying …”what did you expect from a one dollar growth creature?”
Oh be quiet.
I put on my Crocosaur wrangling hat and asked Recluse Man to document the less than stellar growth of my personal monster. Still….I couldn’t help but be a little proud…
“Stretch ’em out to full length,” Recluse Man suggested…
So I did…but then Croc’s tail snapped off!!!
You wouldn’t believe…it tasted just like chicken!!!!
Would you like some?
And that my friends, is the end of this monster tale…..
Wait….Wait…Wait…I’m not done yet!
Look at what Elizabeth just brought me….it’s my lucky day!!!
SHUT DA DOOR!!!!