Hiya … heya …welcome to Freeka’s Funny Farm. Scroll right on down for some zany adventures and photos from life on my southern mountain farm.
I am Freeka. Well sometimes. Other times I’m Freddie. In fact, I have an entire collection of ‘F’ names but I’ll save that for later.
Now should you be wondering about the ‘Funny’ part of Freeka’s Farm…
Yes, we are all nuts here. No, we don’t take drugs to control it.
It’s just that I am a photographer who likes to laugh a lot. And somehow I ended up on this little farm in the mountains and now seven years into it, I find myself presiding over three dogs, two cats, a horse, a pig, a pony, a ponkey, and a boyfriend I call Recluse Man.
I am their tribal queen. Or maybe I’m a princess. Yes, yes, we’ll go with princess. It doesn’t really matter since no one realizes this very important role except maybe Recluse Man. And that always prompts a hearty laugh from him. Funny girl … ha ha … Princess. But who wouldn’t want a princess? Sometimes Recluse Man should take me more seriously.
Anyway…for some time now I have found myself greatly amused and entertained by the antics of my tribe and I think it’s about time to share. Besides, we have a ponkey named Pockets living here who is searching for fame and fortune. And more poo. Always gotta be searching and sniffing for poo.
If you don’t know what a ‘ponkey’ is…well… you dummy…ya mate a pony with a donkey…ya got a ponkey …otherwise known as a mule. But we never-ever use the M word around here. Never.
The timing for my first blog entry couldn’t be better because you see, we’ve been partying. We like to party. Especially since Pockets the ponkey, and her sidekick Grayson the pony, just turned one. They were both born in June at Grayson Highlands State Park in VA into feral pony bands. Then three months later at the annual September auction (2014), my nutty friend Elizabeth bought them, and three months after that they came to live here.
Not only have the Pips just turned one, they have spent exactly half their little lives here on the farm. Woot..Woot.
This is so typical around here…Elizabeth and Pockets are cutting up and getting all the attention while Grayson takes backstage….Meet Grayson. Isn’t he a cutie-patootie? He prefers ‘handsome’ … you decide. btw….Elizabeth is always smiling around her Pips…it’s the real deal…and very contagious.Pockets believes in fairies and magic and of course…unicorns! We gave her a magic wand and told her to grant wishes and make rainbows and sprinkle magic everywhere…
“Oh My Gwad,” said Pockets…”waataaloadapoo….I waaaah more beads.”
Balloons on the hitching post! What the heck is a balloon?
I think the donkey in the ponkey makes Pockets more curious than Grayson. Plus she is a badass, watch-dog, half-ass and always on the look-out. She really is. A halfass I mean. You don’t believe me? Her daddy was a jackass, her momma a pony…so that makes her a halfass…but only Grayson calls her that. You need to start believing me.
Meanwhile Grayson showed some anxiety….perhaps he was worried we would play pin-the-tail-on-his-favorite-ponkey?Oh c’mon now patootie-face…have a lil sniff?Of course all of this is a way of offering the Pips new experiences. On a funny farm, why not make the lessons fun? (Don’t bother confirming with Grayson)
But enough about lessons…let’s get on with the party. And what would a party be without Mama G? Gypsy, or Mama G, has been with me for six years now. She had a carefree life with a couple of boyfriends before the Pips came along. Then BAM! Enter two of the tiniest baby horses (?) she had ever seen. It could have gone any which way. I mean, no one asked Gypsy if she wanted to be a surrogate mom. Why, she could have jumped the fence to audition for 50 Shades of Hay. Naturally, Elizabeth and I were thrilled to see Gypsy take the Pips in like they were her own.
Gypsy decided to attend as a blonde since she heard blondes have more fun….This was our version of a birthday carrot cake…shredded carrots with molasses drizzled on top. My kind of cake recipe. It was a HUGE hit!
Pockets….”Hey git yer own!”
OMG…youse guys are so cute…of course you can have seconds…
Mama E (Elizabeth) grabbed my camera while I distracted Gypsy to give Pockets a chance to lick her plate…at least that was the plan…Meanwhile, Grayson got in on it and I was surrounded by sticky lips! Lemme outta here!Then Gypsy found the molasses bottle and things got outta control. Molasses everywhere! It was a stickety-lickety good mess…I could have sworn Pockets the Ponkey was drunk on Molasses!
Even Elizabeth was brown and sticky under the nose…now how did that happen?
Well of course…molasses kisses!!!…but who has the brownest nose?? (Grayson doesn’t count)Feathers were sticking to Mama E’s lips….hey is that Groucho Marks?
Everyone had a great time. And no….we did not play pin-the-tail-on-the-ponkey!
Then right on cue, Tootsie the clean-up girl arrived to assist me.
Never was there a better birthday party on the funny farm!!