Archive of ‘Janice’ category

HOLIDAY FARM ANIMALS (I sure hope they don’t hold a grudge)

I can’t help myself. A flashy holiday rolls around and I feel this need to dress up my farm tribe and make photographs. How silly is that?

(rhetorical question…don’t  bother asking the animals)

I have to wonder…in my middle-aged life…am I just now getting in touch with the inner childhood I missed out on growing up as a tomboy climbing trees…when I could have been outfitting Barbie dolls?

(no regrets…and again…don’t ask the animals)

I learned recently, there was a scientific study that determined dogs have no self-awareness with regard to how they look. I could have spared the expense of that study and offered the same conclusions (from all my farm animals), backed up by Freeka’s Funny Farm research and documentation. Lily with spaghetti drools all over her snout, the pigster with a little poo stuck to his tail, Gypsy with more brown mud on her body than natural white, Pockets with a sticky molasses nose…and they each be like…

“WHO CARES?

WHY YOU LAUGHING AT ME?

I FEEL GOOD!”

(sung to James Brown tune)

However…when it comes to Christmas holiday photography, those same critters may just exhibit a little more self awareness.  They’ve made it through Valentine’s Day, St Patty’s Day, Fourth of July, and Halloween, but the year is not quite complete without a few Christmas costumes and a little craziness.

I apologize to all the critters I have humiliated. Just know, in my eye you are all so fun, and yes, silly. So…what’s wrong with that? I promise never to turn y’all into Barbies.

This year I had the pleasure of humiliating someone else’s farm animals. “Whew!”… said the tribe. Took the pressure off the gang here. But as you will see, my gang did not go completely…undressed…shall I say?

Here are some favorites from here and beyond at Tucker Farm.

I’ll start with Toots and the decorating of the tree. Toots did not want to budge from the new dog bed that was taking up so much room right where I was trying to decorate our little Christmas tree. So what’s a girl to do? Yes! Decorate the dog. Well c’mon…I had to stretch out those new Christmas lights somewhere!

Toots…hoping she wouldn’t be gift-wrapped next…

I know how much Elizabeth loves having photos made with her Pips, especially to share with her family and fans at Christmas time. The Pips are such troopers as photo models, all I have to do is say…SMILE! …and look what I get…

…SMILES all around!

Never mind that Pockets was wearing a doggie outfit…that ponkey loves to dress up!

Even Grayson didn’t seem to mind the ‘faux mistletoe’…any reason to nibble…lick…kiss…

Nobody looks terribly humiliated here…right Elizabeth? (better pass out some treats real fast)

On we go to Tucker Farm. My favorite home away from home. The lady of the farm, my great friend Karen, has a good-sized tribe of rescued donkeys and goats at her barn and each year she’ll do a little Christmas slide show with her gang. I couldn’t wait to get involved. Three of my favorite horse pals live there as well, and almost living there, is another simpatico, ‘favorite-home-away-from-home’ girlfriend, Janice, who owns two of the horses.

My goat-to girlfriends…Karen on left, Janice on right…butt-heads in front…

None of the Tucker Farm critters are newbies at photo shoots. As soon as the costume container came out in the horse pasture, Dart was all into everything…

…hmmm…maybe red is really my color?

“Hey Dart…when you stick your nose in the goodies box…well who nose what will happen next…eh? Ha Ha Ha!”

(is this horse lacking a sense of humor?)

Here’s Dart’s stable mate, Louie. The twin brother of the same mother of costumes…Might have a case of stink eye going on here..

Asante…the only mare on the farm…ready to dance… …and prance……and maybe a little french kiss? (such a huzzy!)

On to the donkeys and goats. It was such a highly organized Christmas shoot with a bunch of curious models just waiting their turn.

Like a Victoria’s Secret Christmas runway show, we told them.

Yup…you believe that?

It was more like…

(goats and donkeys)…”HAY…WHAT’S to EAT in that BOX?”

(girls)…”HEY! GIT OUTTA THERE YOU RASCALS!”

 That…’You’ve Goat to be Kidding’ look….

Can’t wait to unwrap my presents!

Truly…Star Struck…What Ernie was really thinking…

“Star Struck…my butt! I just wanna know if that thing on my head is…EDIBLE?”

Check out my favorite goat, Ethel. Too bad she got stuck with my middle name.

Poor dear.

I think because of that, (ruthless teasing…you gotta understand!), she likes the idea of having grown a set of balls……now what to do with those balls???

Stormy said…”After this? I am sooo breaking into the feed room. First chance I get.”

Thanks girls…I was seeing so much red and green…I didn’t know whether to stop…or go……or just grow a mustache…

Meanwhile…back at the Funny Farm…things were getting out of control.

D.O.G. had busted into his stocking and lookee what he found!!!

DANG!…D.O.G….gimme back my Recluse Man!!!!

The Pips had found the calendar that will surely make them overnight Hollywood sensations…

…ya think??

My New Year’s date turned out to be a real pig…Toots spoke her first and final words of the year……and then passed out from overexertion…I caught D.O.G. ransacking the Christmas goody bags…

…then squatting on my homemade holiday cards…and is that the sports section of the paper where I circled all my winning bets??? …I will forgive that pigster…if the rest of all those wonderful creatures will forgive me…

Deal…D.O.G.?

HERE’S TO A STYLISH NEW YEAR!!!

STUBBORN AS A MULE

I wouldn’t dare call Pockets a mule to her face. But technically speaking, it is what she is.

Breed a male (jack) donkey, to a female (mare) horse, and you’ll get a mule.

But the way we see it around here…ya breed a donkey to a pony…ya got a ponkey.

Ponkeys are total cuteness. Ponkeys are endless entertainment. A good ponkey is short and stout, with big ears and will chase away homie-dogs and hyenas. A good ponkey always comes right over after chasing a hyena…in immediate need of a cuddle-rub-hug and a smile.

After all…fearlessness deserves reward.

A good ponkey has a smile that will make you laugh.

Yet..a couple of days ago I found myself laughing my ass off…over a naughty ponkey’s grimaces.

OH MY GWAD…here comes another episode of Trailer Loading Flunkies.

(move over Star)Star load

That same-sinister-black Darth Vader horse trailer that created my personal ‘Star-Wars’ last year, is back. Sitting in my pasture. Waiting for a trip down the mountain to carry Pockets-the-Ponkey to a vet.

Too bad after the trailer arrived, we told Pockets she needed to be ‘vetted’ at the end of April. Big mistake.

Instantly she retorted; I WILL NOT BE VETTED…NOT EVER-NEVER…NOT TO GWAYSON OR ANYBODY…NO VETTINGS FOR ME…GWAYSON NEVER EVEN PWOPOSED!!!!

(What a Drama Queen…I told her she was too young to be wedded…and that’s not what I meant in the first place!)

Ever since, Elizabeth has been diligently teaching Pockets how to load in the monster-trailer. They were making big strides, those two.

Then a couple of days ago when Elizabeth couldn’t make it out, I promised her I would load Pockets. My friend Janice was coming over to collaborate on a round pen session with Star. Janice and I both have three year old geldings and we had agreed to do ‘co-op’ training sessions, sharing time with our boys. It was her turn here. Our goal that day was to put a girth around Star for the very first time.

Success!J & Star girth

I was so tickled to see my crazy boy wearing a fancy belt around his scrawny waist…Star girth

Loading Pockets afterward, sounded like a piece of carrot cake. I told Janice I would snap some photos for Elizabeth while she loaded Pockets. Easy-breezy. Nothing to it. The P-Pip had loaded already.

I must mention…Janice is light as a sparrow. Very horse savvy. And full of mischief.

She led Pockets to the trailer ramp and sat down inside.

What the hay?

Star watched from the sidelines with huge trepidation…Star trailer Pockets

No doubt…Pockets was wondering about the new girl at the end of her ponkey leash…Pockets trailer1

Let the circus begin!Pockets trailer2

It was about here…J&P trailer

…that I was laughing so hard…I nearly peed my pants…J&P trailer3

Meanwhile…Janice was flying by the seat of her pants!J&P trailer3

Down the trailer ramp and through the pasture they go!J&P trailer4

Star was…shall we say…Startled? Notice Grayson in the distance…chomping away…J&P trailer5

Finally Pockets gave into curiosity and stopped pulling…
J&P trailer6

Pockets-the-Ponkey decided to investigate ‘The Girl Who Wouldn’t Let Go’…J&P trailer7

The two of them talked it over…Janice said…YOU ARE STUBBORN AS A MULE!

Pockets said…I AM A PONKEY…NOT A MULE…I AM A FONKEY-WONKEY-PONKEY…YOU HONKEY!J&P trailer8

…slowly they made up…J&P trailer9

ROLL THE CAMERA!!…B Roll!J&P trailer10Thank Gwad…Elizabeth showed up the next day…P&E trailer1

I was worried we had made a wreck of her training progress…E&P trailer6

Carrot bribes sure help…E&P trailer7

P&E trailer2

But in the end it was Grayson…P&E trailer3

…who saved the day…P&E trailer4

All lickety-split that stubborn mule…I mean PONKEY…loaded!

PHOTO OF THE DAY – STAR LIGHT, STAR FIGHT – November 15, 2015

starlight II-2

There are plenty of documentary photos from the attempted trailer loading of my friend Star today. However…I would rather not edit them now and be reminded of the hours we spent futily trying to load that stubborn mule.

I had the very best of help with Team Trailer Star…thanks to Karen, Janice, Elizabeth, and Recluse Man. I thought Recluse Man might ride away on Buck while we weren’t watching. I mean…he had big feelings for that horse. But there was no breaking up Star-Buck today.

After more than two hours of rearing and balking and roping and walking…we chose to leave the trailer behind.

I will work with Star tomorrow…hopefully getting him adjusted and loading in the trailer with no big distractions.

Team Trailer Star and I would rather have it go peacefully and naturally…even if it takes a few days…rather than use force and fear tactics.

But keep in mind…YOU STUBBORN MULE…THE FORCE IS WITH US!!!!POTD_15_11_15_Star_stubborn

So there’s your stubborn mule Photo of the Day.

PHOTO OF THE DAY – LINGUINI & MEATBALLS – September 25, 2015

WARNING …..

THIS IS SICK, HICK, FARM CHICK HUMOR. GO AWAY YOUNG CHILDREN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ANYWAY?

I made so many photos yesterday, I have barely looked through them all. The morning started off early with the vet coming over to do Grayson’s gelding.

It’s funny. When I called the Social Security office to reschedule an appointment I had made ages ago for yesterday morning, the woman wanted to know my reason for not coming. I told her my pony was scheduled for gelding and his other mom was in New Orleans with her father who is dying. Silence. She asked me a few more things, then asked again, why did I have to reschedule? This time I told her my pony was being CASTRATED. No more repeat questions.

So if you didn’t catch that….yesterday was Grayson’s Castration. And Elizabeth was in New Orleans with her father as he passed peacefully last night.

I am so glad she was there for him, as he was for her.

Several hours after Grayson’s Castration, when I figured he wouldn’t swell up like a basketball, I went to Grayson Highlands State Park to photograph all 18 of the ponies up for auction. I made soooo many photos. There are a lot of pinto ponies with brilliant markings so I tried to get both sides. Some are just pipsqueaks! I knew Elizabeth would want to see the final round-up. She knows many of the grown ponies personally. Tomorrow at 2 pm…that’s their big day…when I hope each and everyone of them finds a good home.

But let’s get on with Photo of the Day, I thought I’d keep it simple.

(So I’m cluttering this up with words instead of photos you ask? Oh Hush!)

While my friend Janice held Grayson’s head during surgery, I was free to shoot. I have a lot of graphic photos that are definitely not appropriate to share. Especially with men. I barely started to describe the procedure when Recluse Man hugged his balls and walked off. What a sight…Mr Macho lover-boy doing the totem-scrotum-shuffle.

Forgive me if you think the same of the following…but the three of us farm chicks in the stall with Grayson, found it hilarious. After the vet clipped the testicles, she tossed them aside. And who was there for a snack??? … my lil Linguini! …

LINGUINI & MEATBALLS!POTD_9_25_15_1GLUMPP…Farm Fresh!!!POTD_9_25_15_2…like mini-mountain oysters

(btw…Elizabeth came up with ‘Linguini & Meatballs’ in a text this morning….good to know her humor is intact even though she is so sad about her dad….come home soon Mama E!)